We’re sorry America, but for many of you, your deepest, darkest nightmare has finally come true: the questionably coherent reality television star of white nationalist dreams has officially become leader of the free world. Donald Trump is president.
It’s been less than a month since Trump won the election, and Americans everywhere are looking for signs of hope and reassurance. Sure, there’s no data to support a theory of hope (just spend a nanosecond on Trump’s Twitter, before closing your eyes very tight). But there are writers and comedians on Twitter who can provide something close to it, and remind you that there are other caring, reasonable people out there sort of like you.
Below is a list of people to follow on various social platforms who can help you survive the next four years.
If just want someone to tell you it’s going to be OK (without lying)
1. Van Jones
Van Jones might be best known as the astute CNN commentator who popularized the term whitelash, but in recent weeks the pundit has unofficially become the nation’s de facto therapist. His most recent three-part video series interviewing Trump supporters made reaching across the aisle seem actually plausible, and he was one of the few liberal pundits to successfully predict Trump’s rise.
If you need to be reminded you that there are still rational, compassionate, not-Steve Bannon conservatives out there
2. Evan McMullin
McMullin, the former House GOP policy director who ran against Trump in the 2016 election, has been loudly denouncing the PEOTUS for embracing his party’s extremist white nationalist fringe.
Remaining silent now is allowing the Party of Abraham Lincoln to drift towards the Party of David Duke. https://t.co/JGEllCQZ3Q
Evan McMullin (@Evan_McMullin) November 23, 2016
3. Ana Navarro
Navarro, a conservative and CNN contributor, has been lashing out at her party for the past year, inspiring some of the best GIFS and tweets of this election, or any election, ever.
Seth Abramovitch (@SethAbramovitch) October 8, 2016
4. David Frum
Frum, senior editor at The Atlantic, is a moderate neoconservative who is so eminently rational and clever it almost makes neoconservatism seem cool?
If flag-burning merits loss of citizenship, what should be the penalty for a Nazi salute by a Trump supporter?
David Frum (@davidfrum) November 29, 2016
If you need to know that there’s still love in this world
5. DeRay McKesson
DeRay, a leading activist in the Black Lives Matter movement, produces a Twitter feed that is simultaneously full of grief, critique, and meaningful calls to action. He’s best known for tweeting “I love my blackness, and yours,” but there’s so much more like it.
Sleep well, y’all. Remember to dream.
deray mckesson (@deray) December 1, 2016
If you want to know if you’ll still have a job in four years
6. Paul Krugman
The New York Times columnist, economist and on-the-nose curmudgeon carefully and methodically debunks each one of Trump’s obscene assertions about the economy with get ready for it actual facts.
Another metric: Trump would have to do one Carrier-sized deal a week for 30 years to save as many jobs as Obama’s auto bailout
Paul Krugman (@paulkrugman) November 30, 2016
If you want to take down Trump and build a brand-new beautiful world (or something)
7. Rebecca Solnit
The author best known for Men Explain Things to Me (think: mansplaining) doesn’t have a Twitter account but does have an active Facebook following, where she shares calls to action and deeply empathetic essays that remind you why you want to make those calls in the first place.
8. Representative Keith Ellison
The progressive Congressman is gunning to become the next head of the DNC. Anyone who’s anyone (dorks) are watching Ellison to see what kind of vision he has planned for the party.
If you want to spend the next four years laughing in a subtle-yet-depressed way
The comedian who delivered some excellent masturbation jokes in the pre-Trump era has now dedicated herself full-time to witnessing the (potential impending) apocalypse around us so we don’t have to.
Hopefully Trump won’t accept the results of the election if he wins.
(((OhNoSheTwitnt))) (@OhNoSheTwitnt) November 9, 2016
10. Maura Quint
Her feed isn’t all Trump (thank God) but when she goes there, she doesn’t let go.
I’d rather see someone burn the flag in an act of protest than wear it to the beach over their crotch thinking that was an act of respect
maura quint (@behindyourback) November 30, 2016
11. Kumail Nanjiani
The actor and comedian from Silicon Valley and Portlandia carefully balances despair with more despair.
This is the first time in our lives that fighting Nazis doesn’t require a time machine.
Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) November 22, 2016
12. Dave Itzkoff
Of course, the world is imploding around you but you’re not the only one who sees it. Itzkoff, and this Kermit GIF, does too.
Mr. Trump, acts of hate are being committed in your name around the country!
They might recount an election you won”
Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) November 27, 2016
If you just really need someone to cut through the bullshit. All of it.
13. Joy Reid
Say what you will about MSNBC, but commentator Joy Reid has committed her Twitter feed/full life to exposing each and every one of Trump’s lies, hypocrisies, and wild allegations. Nothing seems to pass by her. (Truly nothing. She’s on Twitter a lot).
Trump claims the world will “respect us again” despite the fact that under Obama respect for the U.S. is high while the world loathes Trump.
Joy Reid (@JoyAnnReid) December 2, 2016
14. Jon Favreau
Favreau was Obama’s chief speechwriter from 2005 to 2013 and is now host of the podcast “Keepin’ it 1600.” Don’t believe that tiny bit of good news about Trump that the rest of the world has on blast? He doesn’t either.
The most bizarre part about “nasty woman” is that it came during an answer about the Social Security Trust Fund.
Jon Favreau (@jonfavs) October 20, 2016
15. Julia Ioffe
Columnist and Politico writer Julia Ioffe will, thankfully, never force you to find the silver lining.
IDEA: What if you could strip someone of their citizenship for their tweets?
Julia Ioffe (@juliaioffe) November 30, 2016
If you’re a teensy weensy bit concerned that our planet is on its way to hell
16. Neil deGrasse Tyson
The celebrity astrophysicist (who ever thought there would be such a thing?) has more than 6 million followers and is the voice of reason in a world of climate change deniers.
#IDreamOfAWorld where Politicians are scientifically literate, empowering them to make informed decisions that affect us all.
Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) November 27, 2016
If you lack the words to describe what you’re feeling right now
Sure, it’s a dictionary. But language is inherently political, and the mysterious talented ghost who runs Merriam Webster‘s Twitter right now has done some of the best subtweeting of the election season.
‘Fascism’ is still our #1 lookup.
# of lookups = how we choose our Word of the Year.
There’s still time to look something else up.
Merriam-Webster (@MerriamWebster) November 29, 2016
If you want to know if what Trump is doing is legal (it’s probably not)
18. Laurence Tribe
The liberal scholar and constitutional law professor at Harvard who has argued before the Supreme Court dozens of time should be far more popular than Alan Dershowitz, but sadly isn’t.
Sad lesson: Trump knows how to use optics to create counterproductive illusions; Obama assumed reality counts more than image https://t.co/rR1hHsNIYC
Laurence Tribe (@tribelaw) December 1, 2016
If you’re in that “angry caps lock tweetstorm” kind of mood
19. Judd Legum
Legum, an editor at Think Progress and master tweeter, has crafted some fine tweetstorms (and real pieces of journalism, blablabla) that can fulfill all your primitive, rage-tweeting desires.
3. But Trump has skills. His biggest skill is PROJECTING AN IMAGE OF SUCCESS, whatever the reality
Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) December 1, 2016
If you just want to check in and make sure feminism is still alive
20. Lindy West
anyone else having this problem where you can’t watch children’s media about girls being bold & fearless & having hope w/o sobbing like baby
Lindy West (@thelindywest) November 29, 2016
21. Brittney Cooper
Brittney Cooper, founder of the Crunk Feminist Collective, might not be the most active tweeter, but every story she writes and collective post she shares is worth your full attention.
I know most of you don’t have words. I don’t either. But I found a few for this hard day. https://t.co/2nX9Y9lSoj
Brittney Cooper (@ProfessorCrunk) November 9, 2016
22. Roxane Gay
If you don’t know about Roxane Gay, now you do. Gay, author of Bad Feminist and a sometimes columnist for The New York Times, dissects human emotions like no one else.
If humans are being too horrible right now and the only thing that can give you peace is a barnyard animal
23. Goats of Anarchy
This goat is just like you a sad, frightened creature who only feels happy in a duck costume. Get a goat costume, or better yet, get this Instagram account.
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Read more: http://mashable.com/